


Let Your Light Shine Bright

by Fluffygayprince



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Depression, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Ghost!Even, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, On Hiatus, Rape/Non-con Elements, body image issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-12-17 01:05:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11840784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffygayprince/pseuds/Fluffygayprince
Summary: They were called lifelights. Little shining dots located on the inside of an arm. They kind of resembled fireflies, or maybe stars. No two people have the same amount of lights, or the same pattern, and the amount usually depended on a person's mental strength. Those who could withstand an exceptional amount of misfortune usually possessed more lights than those with a weaker mindset.Isak had 9 lights, but he didn’t feel strong at all.





	1. The Past & The Present

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first chaptered fic, so I hope you guys like it. I'd really like to thank Sue (Minkefreak), kaleidxscope and Mackenzie (EvensDramaticShenanigans) for being the worlds best beta's and making this fic, and especially the first chapter, possible. 
> 
> Despite all the tags & warnings, this fic won't contain a lot of angst, only at the beginning and as part of the characters background stories. However, be warned if you are triggered by any of the things mentioned in the tags, as some scenes might be detailed. 
> 
> Comment or leave kudos if you liked the fic, or if you have any remarks, as I'm curious about all your reactions!
> 
> \- Lou

They were called lifelights. Little shining dots located on the inside of an arm. They kind of resembled fireflies, or maybe stars. No two people have the same amount of lights, or the same pattern, and the amount usually depended on a person's mental strength. Those who could withstand an exceptional amount of misfortune usually possessed more lights than those with a weaker mindset. 

Isak had 9 lights, but he didn’t feel strong at all. 

***

Isak was losing again. He thought he had been on an upward streak. His life, body, and mind all had started to feel stronger, until suddenly they didn't. He felt empty, as if all the colors in the world had been swapped for grey, all the sounds surrounding him muted. 

He had tried to get better by moving away from his stepfather's house on the day he turned 15. He crashed at his best friends place, until Jonas his parents became worried, asking him when he was going to go home again, whether or not everything was okay at home, if he needed help. So he left again and went back home to face the music. 

***

Isak was two when he lost his dad to cancer. Too young to have any real memories of happy days spent together, or any memory of how he even looked or acted. His mother tried to keep their family together, at least at first. She would still keep the house clean, and make sure he always got enough to eat and had clothes and a clean room, until the news came that his father was terminal. When the doctors told her this she gave up on everything, and life was never the same after that. 

She became a shell of the person she was before. Isak had to watch the lights on his mother's arm go out one by one, slowly but steadily, with no idea what they were or what was coming. The first one went out the moment they discovered the illness. The second when his dad had to be kept at the hospital overnight. The third when Isak had asked her what was wrong and why they couldn’t just take dad home. He decided never to bring the topic up again after that, because while he had no idea what the lights meant, he did realise that they were important and he did not want to see another extinguished. 

She lost the fourth one when his dad died. 

Marianne was never a strong person, was never supposed to be, which was why she only had 6 lights, in a neat cluster near her elbow, and when the fourth light went out, Isak began to fear for his mother's life. 

***

He was five when his mother first introduced Terje Dahl and his son Julian to him, and six when his mother decided to marry her now new husband and move in with him and his son. Isak had to leave his home in Bergen and move to Oslo, leaving behind everything that reminded him of his dad, the few friends he had made, and everything he knew. 

The new house was big, with a lot of expensive furniture because Terje happened to be the CEO of some important company in the city. He had to travel a lot, and spent a lot of time on the phone, but he had money.

Isak got new toys - his mother bought them for him -and his own room. He got new clothes for school and a new bike so he could go there himself. Isak was proud, felt grown up and cared for, not realising he only got the bike so his mother or stepfather wouldn’t have to take him to school, the clothes so he would leave a good impression on his teachers and look like he was well cared for, the toys so he wouldn’t ask for attention. 

He didn’t care for the fact that Julian seemed to try and boss him around because he never had a brother, and he was just happy the older boy would even spend time with him since he was always the odd one out at school, interested in science and biology, always with a book in his hands and the first one to raise his hand when a question was asked. 

So life went on, and slowly he got used to his new situation. His mother got stressed more often, and Terje regularly raised his voice at her and Isak, but they learned to deal with it. They were as happy as they could be. 

***

Isak was 9 when Terje first hit him and his second light went out, the first having been extinguished by the death of his father. He had been running around in the house, chasing a football and tracking mud all over the shiny clean floors when he kicked the ball too hard in the wrong direction and broke an expensive vase standing against the wall. 

The crash was loud, and the sounds of smashing glass had Terje running down from his home office to find Isak standing besides the mess lying all over the floor. Before Isak knew what was happening Terje had hit him against his head hard enough that he was stumbling backwards and almost fell down. He was ordered to clean up the broken vase and then to go to his room and stay there until he was called back down. 

So nine-year-old Isak cleaned up the broken glass with his bare hands, not having been given the cleaning supplies and not even knowing where they would be normally, as that was something the cleaning lady was supposed to take care of. Cuts slowly formed on his hands, and the blood mingled with the glass and the tears slowly streaming down his face. 

***

Marianne hadn’t been doing well for a while. Some days she wouldn’t get out of bed, and other days she’d spend hours looking out of the window, not responding to anything around her.  
Isak could deal with it. He would take care of her, make sure she had enough to eat, that she drank enough water. He would brush her hair and make sure she showered or went to bed when Terje didn’t come home at night. Julian was out more often than he was home. He was thirteen now, old enough to go out with his friends whenever he wanted, so Isak spent most days all alone in his room studying whenever he wasn’t at school or taking care of his mother. 

The first time she talked about them, he tried to ignore it, not really understanding what was happening. Until it was all she could talk about. How He would exact his revenge on the sinners of this earth with their help, how they would come for her and everybody else, how nobody was safe. 

Isak was scared. 

He was scared and there was nothing he could do besides ignore her delusional rambling. 

Until he came home from school one day to find all the plates in the kitchen smashed on the ground with his mother sobbing in the middle of the shards, the evidence of a disaster. 

He cleaned her up and bandaged her wounds, careful not to upset her anymore than she already was. And when he later asked her what had happened, she told him that she was just cleaning up the dishes when one of them had appeared behind her. She was only trying to defend herself, you see, because she couldn’t let them take her. 

That was the day Isak’s third light went out. 

***

Things became almost unbearable at home after that. Terje couldn’t handle his wife, couldn’t handle how ill she was becoming, so he spent almost every night down at the cafe. Julian followed his dad's example, both coming home drunk at all hours of the night. 

Isak was 12 now, and he had a best friend. One who didn't know anything about his home life, and thought the bruises just came from Isak being clumsy. Jonas had thick dark eyebrows and curly hair and was the first kid not to judge Isak for his interest in school but actually wanted to spend time with him. 

Together they would explore the world around them. They would bike around the city and hang around Vigeland Park to make fun of the naked statues. Other days they would go to the skatepark close to Jonas’s house and fall on their faces a dozen times because neither could actually stand on a skateboard. 

Slowly, one of Isak’s lights began to shine again, the closer he got to Jonas, who still had all his lights intact. 

***

The window thing was Jonas’s Idea. Isak found it stupid at first, of course, but Jonas insisted. Since his room was on the ground floor it wasn’t like Isak really had any room to object, as it wasn’t exactly a hardship for him to enter Jonas's house through his window instead of his front door. 

Isak never came over at night, it was the one boundary he set, as he still felt it would be to intrusive, maybe? Isak wasn’t sure why he didn’t want to overstep that line, but he felt uncomfortable at the thought, and Jonas didn't question him. 

Until the second time Terje hit him. 

Isak was 13 and a half now and not manly enough according to Terje. Isak’s stepfather had once again come home drunk, only to discover Isak dancing and singing along to One Direction in the living room. Isak barely recognized his stepfather as the older man grabbed him by the front of his shirt and punched him in the face. He felt his head jerk backwards, but the rest of him froze in place, unable to defend himself as Terje continued to hit and then kick him as he fell to the floor, all the while screaming and raging about how no son of his would be a ‘dirty little faggot.’

Isak had no idea how long he ended up lying there, how many times the air was kicked out of his lungs or how much blood streamed from his nose. 

Eventually Terje must have gotten bored, however, as Isak couldn’t see or feel him anymore. Slowly he got up, one of his arms clutching at his stomach and the other holding his t-shirt to his nose. 

He slowly stumbled out of the living room and towards the front door, trying his hardest not to make any noise as he opened the door and slipped out onto the quiet road. He wasn't really thinking about where he was going, only hesitating once he reached Jonas’s house. The pain he felt won over any doubt Isak might have had, and thus, he walked around the house to Jonas’s window and knocked on the glass, wincing when that only hurt him more. 

It took a while before Jonas came to open the window, Isak guessed he had already been sleeping as he had to knock on the glass multiple times, but none of that mattered anymore once Jonas got a look at his best friend. He didn’t hesitate before opening the window and helping Isak inside, hushing softly every time he whined as he didn’t want to wake up his parents. 

“What happened?” Jonas’s voice was laced with worry, his eyes flitting over Isak’s face and body, trying to figure out where all the blood was coming from and whether he should wake up his parents. 

Isak gritted his teeth, but managed to let out a small, “I was out on the streets too late and these two guys attacked me out of nowhere. I can’t even remember seeing their faces.” He felt bad about the lie, but didn’t know what else to say. He was old enough to realise that telling the truth would only get him into more trouble. 

It was obvious to Jonas that Isak was lying, but he was tired and he guessed Isak was too. So he ignored the worry he felt and got up to get the first aid kit and a wet towel from the bathroom. 

That night, Isak dressed in a pair of Jonas's pajamas, his wounds bandaged and ice pressed to the more obvious bruises, and Jonas curled himself protectively around Isak in the bed. And if it took both of them a long time to fall asleep that night, well, it wasn't like anyone would know.

It would take both of them multiple hours the next day before either noticed that Isak now had only six lights shining bright on his arm, instead of seven. 

***

By the time Isak was 15 he had gotten used to his mother’s delusional ramblings and Terje’s uncontrollable temper. He was careful with how he acted and with what he said, thus, most days everything was fine. Julian, however, was an entirely different story. 

He’d been getting more and more flirtatious over the past few months, since his last girlfriend, Astrid, had broken up with him. Isak didn’t know what to do. Julian's behaviour towards him was freaking him out, making him scared to be alone in the same room as his brother. Any excitement he might have felt at the thought of having an older brother had completely faded by now, and was replaced by unease. Isak was glad Julian’s room was at the other side of their unbelievably big house however, so it wasn’t like he had to fear running into him at all hours of the day or night. 

One night, despite all of Isak’s efforts to avoid the older boy, Julian managed to corner him in the bathroom. His breath smelled of strong liquor, and Isak had to hold his own so he wouldn’t gag as Julian pushed closer to him, pressing the younger boy against the bathroom sink. 

“You have no idea what you do to me.” Julian tried to whisper in Isak’s ear, one hand coming up to hold Isak’s waist and the other cupping his face. Isak was frozen in place, his heart racing in his chest and his blood pumping in his ears, unable to think through the panic. It didn’t seem like Julian cared, or even noticed, as he clumsily brought their mouths together. 

Isak kept his lips pressed together, starting to fight back against the pressure of Julian leaning against him. He managed to raise his hands enough to push the drunken boy off of him, shouting at him to stop. Julian was persistent however, and moved closer again. 

“Stop fighting,” Julian uttered, “I know you want this.”

That was when Isak realised the other wouldn’t stop, and he was scared about where it would lead. He had to do something. 

Isak tried to push Julian again, and when Julian didn't move, he brought up his knee and kicked him in the groin. Julian doubled over, distracted long enough for Isak to push him aside and run out of the bathroom, down the corridor and the stairs, hurrying towards the front door as he heard his brother stumble after him. 

He didn’t stop for a second, rushing out of the house and running down the street as fast he could. Isak didn't know what to do, but he knew he couldn’t turn back around, or go somewhere Julian might look for him. 

So he wandered around aimlessly, for God knows how long. Isak was cold. He was only wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and in his haste to get out of the house he hadn’t thought of putting on a jacket, or a coat. 

Without noticing, he had made his way closer to the centre of the city. There were more people on the streets, people going out and enjoying their evening like they usually do on a Friday night. Music was pouring out of every bar and club he passed, drunk people dancing and talking inside the dimly lit interiors. 

Isak walked until he couldn’t anymore. He entered one of the most crowded bars he could find, craving the anonymity such a packed place would give him. He ordered the strongest drink he could get at the bar, silently thanking the Gods that the bartender didn't ask for his ID, and downed the drink as fast as he could once it was placed in front him, before ordering another one. 

It wasn’t long before more drinks were placed in front of him, drinks he hadn’t ordered. Isak had no problem drinking them all, until he felt like he was floating on clouds and his head was spinning. Music pounded and bodies were grinding all around him. At some point he registered a faint urge to puke, all the alcohol he had consumed in such short time taking its toll on his body, but when he got up he barely took one step before falling over.

The floor was coming closer now, and he couldn’t do anything to stop it, couldn’t get his limbs to move to stop his fall. He was helplessly lying on the ground, not even able to get up again because everything was moving and he couldn’t find the strength. 

Tears were streaming down his face as he tried to get up, only to fail again. He tried to cry out for help, but the music was too loud and the people to drunk to notice him - until he felt a pair of hands grab his shoulders, one of them moving along down his arms to pick him up. 

He felt himself being escorted out into the cold street and put down. A voice was asking him whether he was okay, if he wanted them to call someone, or if he wanted to go home? 

He recoiled at that, saying that he didn't want to go home, that he couldn’t. Isak was starting to hyperventilate at the thought of going home, his breath becoming quicker and his chest tightening. 

The person currently taking care of him was trying to calm him down, but nothing was working

The last thing Isak saw before blacking out was the concerned face of a young guy, and he barely managed to mutter a soft but sincere “thank you” before he passed out. 

Later that night Isak had regained consciousness and managed to puke all over himself. The kind stranger had helped clean Isak off and tucked a blanket around him on the couch, and when Isak's arm rolled over the side of the mattress, showing off only four out of nine lights burning, the stranger couldn't help but wonder what terrible things this boy had gone through.


	2. A New Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second chapter is here! I hope you guys enjoy this and let me know what you think of it!  
> Once again, thanks to my amazing Beta's, without who this would not have been possible.

The next morning Isak woke up dazed and confused about what happened the previous night and unsure of where he was. There was sunlight streaming through the windows, lighting up what seemed to be a living room that he had no recollection of ever seeing before.

Isak got up slowly, leaning against the couch and pressing his fingers against his temples to stop the major headache he was sporting. He was glad he didn’t feel like puking though, as he had no idea where to find the bathroom or the kitchen. He did have an urgent need to pee, so finding the bathroom was his goal first and foremost.

He managed to narrowly avoid bumping into the low table as he got up from the couch, and leaned against every stable looking object that he came across, not feeling all too steady standing up.

Isak entered the first door he saw, and ended up in the hallway by pure luck. He wandered further into the unknown apartment and opened the first door he passed, only to come to a halt when he discovered the content of the room. It was dark, almost cleared out entirely except for a few pieces of furniture. The most peculiar thing however, was that every single centimeter of the room was covered with a thin layer of dust. 

Literally, everything. 

He took one step further inside and looked around. It was the strangest thing he had seen in a long time, especially considering how clean and put together the apartment had seemed so far. 

It was way too early in the morning to deal with creepy things like this, Isak thought to himself. With one last look he stepped back outside and closed the door behind him, going back to his search for a bathroom. 

Once there, he was shocked by what he saw in the mirror. He had huge dark circles under bloodshot eyes, and his lips felt like sandpaper, his mouth tasting of vomit. Isak winced and splashed some water on his face, drying it using his shirt, only now noticing that he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and t-shirt that weren’t his. 

He couldn’t have been at a hookup's house, he wouldn’t have been dressed and passed out on the couch if that was the case. Last night was a blur however, and Isak couldn’t remember how he ended up here. 

The bathroom was filled with various products, several tubes of toothpaste and toothbrushes, 4 brushes, and what must be at least fifteen different products in the shower, leaving Isak to believe that there must be multiple people living in the apartment. He searched through the cupboards until he found some mouthwash, and took multiple sips in the hope of getting the rancid taste out of his mouth. 

With one last look in the mirror he ran his hands through his hair and turned around, freezing as he saw the door open. 

“Uhhh, who are you?” The girl that had opened the bathroom door asked. Isak recognized her from school, she was one of Eva’s, Jonas his ex-girlfriend, new friends. 

“Isak,” He answered, staring at her, “I think we go to school together.”

The girl, Noora he seemed to recall, looked him up and down and sighed, “Please tell me you aren’t Eskild’s latest hookup.”

Isak startled at that, how did she know he was gay? And who was this Eskild guy she was talking about? 

Noora must have noticed his confused expression because she smiled kindly at him, “How much exactly do you remember from last night?” 

Isak looked around sheepishly, bringing a hand up to ruffle his hair. “Not much to be honest, I can barely remember drinking anything.”

Noora sighed. “Well, that doesn’t help you or me,” She paused and gave him another look before continuing, “why don’t you go wait in the living room while I make myself a bit more presentable and do my business, and then I can make us some breakfast?” 

He wanted to tell her she shouldn’t bother, that he didn't want to impose, but Isak’s stomach grumbled at the word breakfast, so he simply nodded and stepped out of the bathroom, allowing her to enter. 

On his way back he noticed, once again, how clean and tidy everything was. Isak couldn’t even remember when the last time his house had looked this put together, as his father had stopped hiring a cleaning service after his mom got her episodes more often, not wanting rumours about his ‘crazy’ wife to spread. 

When he walked into the living room he noticed his phone lying on the table next to the couch he had been sleeping on earlier, which he must have overlooked in his sleepy state. 

It was by pure luck that he managed to turn it on, only to be bombarded with texts from Jonas about where he was last night in response to a series of drunken messages he must have sent the previous evening. 

_**Jonas (22:14)**_  
Isak?????  
Where are you??

 _ **Jonas (23:36)**_  
Isak, are you okay?  
Call Me

_**Jonas, Missed Call x7** _

_**To Jonas (01:05)**_  
Hi, I found Isak drunk at a bar, he’s sleeping here. I’ll have him call you once he wakes up. - Eskild

 _ **Jonas (01:07)**_  
Okay

Isak frowned at the message sent from his phone. Eskild must be one of the people living in the apartment, and the one that brought him here. He sent a quick text back to Jonas, telling him he woke up and was safe, before checking to see if he had gotten any others. 

There was a text from Magnus in their group chat, talking about his latest date he had with Vilde, and a bible text from his mother, so nothing he had to answer right now. 

He checked the necessary social media, liked some pictures on Instagram and answered stuff the guys had tagged him in - Mahdi had been especially busy with tagging all of them in memes the previous night - while waiting for the shower to turn off and for Noora to come and get him. 

*** 

The smell of scrambled eggs with toast was filling the air of the tiny kitchen as Isak sat at the table and sipped at his coffee. In front of him sat a ginger haired man, who had introduced himself as Eskild when he had come in earlier, happily chatting away with Noora who was currently making them all breakfast. 

Isak enjoyed the friendly banter between the two of them for a few moments longer before trying to catch their attention with a cough. “So, with how many people live here? Is it just the two of you?” he inquired curiously. 

Noora smiled at his question, and answered, “No, we have a third roommate, Linn, but she’s still sleeping now. Why? 

Isak shrugged. “Cause I entered this dust covered room earlier while looking for the bathroom and I was wondering why it was empty.”

Eskild and Noora looked at each other, surprise and what seemed like discomfort clearly written all over their faces.  
“Was I not supposed to enter that room?” He asked, hoping he hadn’t intruded on something he wasn't supposed to. 

“No, that's not it, ” Eskild shared another look with Noora before continuing, “It’s just that no one had ever been able to enter that room, nobody could ever open it.” He explained. He looked kind of freaked out while talking. 

“It has been closed since we moved in last year, it’s one of the reasons we were able to rent this place. The rent is really cheap because nobody could open the door, not even the police.” He took a deep breath and went on with the story. 

“Apparently the previous owner of the room, some guy named Even, died in there because all his lights went out during a depressive episode, he was bipolar. The room locked as soon as they got the body out, and as far as we know, it's been closed ever since.”

Isak shuddered, already feeling bad for the guy. Dying because of your lights was a horrible thing. It didn't happen that often, only when a person was really broken or sad. He couldn't even begin to imagine how bad this Even guy must have felt.

He wanted to say something when his phone lit up where it had been lying on the table in front of him, the caller ID showing Terje’s name. His mood pummeled, and he feared what would happen if he picked up the phone. All three of them started at the phone, Eskild and Noora out of curiosity, Isak out of fear. 

“I guess I should go.” Isak sighed and got up. “Thank you for letting me stay-”

He was interrupted by Eskild asking him where he was going to go. Isak shrugged again and mumbled, “Home.”

Neither of them looked really happy with that. Noora gave Eskild a look that indicated he should say something. “I don’t think that would be a good idea, not after what you told me yesterday.”

Isak blanched. Of course he had said something about his current situation, even though he was so careful about it normally. 

“Why don’t you stay here? Now that the door to Even’s old room is open again you could come live here. You won’t even have to pay any rent, at least not until you manage to find a job, and I make enough money to support you for at least a little while.”

Isak stared at him in response, not really believing what he’d just heard. He could barely manage to nod in response before two pairs of arms were encircling him, both almost squeezing him to death while Noora murmured a “welcome to the family” to him. It took a while for them to let him go again, but when they did and Isak looked at them he remembered Noora mentioned a third roommate. 

“What about Linn though, shouldn’t she get a say in this?” Isak answered, not wanting to intrude. Eskild laughed in response and answered, “She won’t mind, but if you want to know for sure, we’ll ask her later.”

And thus, when Linn finally emerged from her room a few hours later, they asked her if she was okay with it. She just smiled and nodded, before going back to her room with a mug of hot tea in her hand, and Isak thought to himself that he might enjoy living here. 

***  
Isak shut off his phone with a click and laid back against the pillows Noora and Eskild had found for him. After Linn had given her okay the rest of the day was spent cleaning the room and making sure Isak had everything he needed to get through the night. They had decided, after a long talk where Isak explained a bit more about how life was at home, that they would go by the next day when Isak was sure almost everybody was out, to get him everything he needed. 

Isak had also told them that while his stepfather had been an abusive piece of shit, he had given Isak more than enough pocket money which he had been saving up for a long time, so he should have enough money to contribute to life at the Collective. 

None of them had ever been in the room before, so they had all gawked at how the room was looking. Once they had removed all the dust it was obvious no one had been able to clean out the room before it locked, as all Even’s clothes were still in the dressers, and the room was filled with pictures, books, and DVD’s. 

“Let’s contact the previous owner first before we clean out this mess, maybe Even’s parents or his friends want some of the stuff in this room.” Noora had said, and Isak had to agree - they couldn’t just throw these away. 

So now he was laying in his new bed, and his new room, and in the dark he could vaguely make sense of some of the pictures hanging up against the wall next to the bed. Whoever this Even guy might have been, he had talent. 

Slowly he felt his eyes close as he drifted closer to sleep, so when he felt someone brush the hair out of his face, and whisper a soft “good night angel” to him, he just attributed it to a dream.


	3. Ghost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, here is chapter 3. Sorry that there wasn't an update last week, but I got too busy preparing for work and school. Anyway, thanks again to my amazing beta's, and let me know what you think of this chapter and what will happen next!

Isak didn’t know what woke him up. Only moments ago he was soundly asleep in his new bed, in his new room. He slowly opened his eyes and let them get used to the darkness around him, the only source of light coming from the wide open door. He frowned at it, almost sure he had closed his bedroom door before going to sleep. Isak debated whether or not he should get up to close it, and it was only then he registered the urgent need to pee.  
With a sigh he got up and pulled on one of Even’s hoodies, which almost pooled to his knees, as he didn’t want to accidentally shock his roommates. So what, he had stolen the previous owner’s clothes, it’s not like anyone would know and that hoodie just looked so comfortable when Isak discovered it earlier that day.

The floor was cold. Isak shivered when he stepped out into the hallway and walked towards the bathroom. He absentmindedly wondered again about the open door, but decided not to let it bother him too much. It might have just been the wind or a current caused by the others moving around.

He did his business and drank a bit of water before returning to his room, only to come to a stop in his doorway. There was a guy sitting at his desk. Isak didn’t recognise him from where he was standing. It was alarming. Maybe this was a friend of Eskild, Noora, or Linn? That seemed really unlikely however, and while he was pretty sure the guy was harmless, Isak couldn’t help but wonder how he got in the apartment, as he saw Eskild lock the door earlier. 

The room was still dark when he stepped inside. Isak slowly closed the door behind him and turned on the light. The guy was still there, so he wasn’t imagining it. Isak entered the room cautiously, not wanting to risk startling the stranger, and wondered absentmindedly if he should call anyone for help. 

The guy seemed to be drawing, the sound of a pencil moving on paper filling the room.

“Hey, who the hell are you? And why are you in my room?” Isak exclaimed, curiosity and fear tainting his voice. Who knew what this guy might be capable of doing, no matter how innocent he looked.

The guy turned around slowly, as if surprised he was spoken to, but Isak noticed he wasn’t startled, which led him to believe the guy had been aware of his presence.

“Well, technically it was my room first.” The guy smiled as he talked, his eyes crinkling in the corners.

Isak looked at him incredulously. “Your room? That can’t be. The previous owner died.”

“I did, at least I think I did, I can’t exactly leave this house, so I’m not sure what happened to me, but I think I’m a ghost?” the guy – ghost – explained. Isak wasn’t certain whether or not to believe him. Ghosts weren't real as far as he knew, but upon taking a closer look, it seemed like he could see right through the guy, as if he were transparent.

“Wait – so you’re Even?” Isak asked curiously. As far as he knew this might all be a dream, so he decided to just go along with it.

The guy- or well - Even nodded and motioned for Isak to sit.

“So, you can actually see me?” Even asked excitedly, giddy like a kid who was just told he would get a toy.

Isak nodded, not knowing what to think of Even. This wasn’t a situation he had thought he’d ever be in, and he wasn’t sure how to act. If this was a dream, then his imagination was amazing. Isak only saw a few pictures hanging up when he first started cleaning out the room, and Even himself was barely in any of them. There were only a few grainy ones of him and another dark haired kid, one of him and what Isak guessed were his parents, and one of him and a pretty blond, blue-eyed girl.

The guy sitting in front of him however was a dream. He was long and thin, lanky arms and legs that seemed to go on forever. He had blond hair, slightly wavy, and the bluest eyes Isak had ever seen. And when he smiled he had the cutest dimples. He was in every sense Isak’s dream guy, if he were gay that is. Or if he had the courage to admit to himself that he was maybe a bit more attracted to Jonas than a normal friend would be. 

Even started talking again, rambling on about movies he had loved when he was still alive and whether or not Isak knew some of them. He continued to pick Isak’s brain throughout the night. Even’s whole face was radiating happiness, and Isak thought he looked too alive to be a ghost.

Throughout the night they moved on several occasions. First Isak sat down on his bed, and then he moved so Even could sit next to him. They continued talking, and unconsciously moved closer together until they were both pressed together, leaning against each other and the wall. And after that it only felt natural to lay back when Isak felt himself get sleepy again, Even moving with him until they were cuddled together on Isak’s – and technically also Even’s – bed.

It didn’t occur to Isak to ask Even why he was see-through but still solid, how Even could hold him so securely, and how it could be that Isak felt safer in Even’s arms than he had ever felt in the last ten years.

He also didn’t ask Even why none of his lights were shining through the thin long sleeved shirt he was wearing. He figured that it wasn’t any of his business.

***

The bench was cold when Isak sat down, just like the air around him. It was really cold for a normal morning in October. Isak felt like it was time to finally tell his best friend he had moved out. He hadn’t even answered any of Jonas’s messages during the weekend, not wanting to let his friend know he wasn’t living at home through text, but also not wanting to unnecessarily worry him.

Isak checked his phone, knowing he came at least 10 minutes too early and that he would still have some time before Jonas would arrive. He debated what to do with his time, and after some thinking – was it stalking to look up a dead guy? – he typed “Even Bech Næsheim” in the search bar. Even’s name didn’t really bring up anything, except for a small clip made by a guy named Mikael at Bakka a couple of years ago.

He clicked play when the video finally loaded, thanking the universe that he was still on his father’s phone plan with unlimited data. The video was an interview with Even, and Isak quickly lost what they were talking about, something about Sarah Palin and Vladimir Putin? He instead chose to focus on the way Even’s eyes crinkled when he laughed.

“Halla,”

Isak jumped, quickly shutting off his screen and turning towards Jonas who had sat down next to him. Jonas gave Isak a confused look, and Isak gave him a small, apologetic smile in return.

“Hei,” He said, leaning forward and giving Jonas a hug. “How are you?”

Jonas hugged him back, answering that he was fine before asking why Isak wanted to meet up. Isak gulped, not feeling ready to explain but knowing he owed Jonas the truth.

“You know about my situation at home,” Isak started, and saw Jonas nod out of the corner of his eye, “something happened on Friday, and I ended up running away and getting drunk at a bar. Some guy found me there and offered me a room in his shared apartment.”

Isak got the words out as quickly as he could without mentioning any of the details: He could surely tell them on a later date, but right now he just wanted the talk to be over as soon as possible.

“Are you sure you can trust this guy?” was Jonas’s only response, and that was exactly why Isak liked him so much. Jonas knew Isak wasn’t okay right now, and so he didn’t ask, but instead wanted to make sure he was safe.

“Yeah, I’m sure. You know Noora, right?”

“Eva’s friend?” Jonas asked confused. “What about her?”

“She also lives there, and I trust her to not be living with complete weirdos. And Eskild has been really nice about everything, he’s the guy that took me in.”

“You should invite the guys over sometime then, it's finally your turn to host the next pregame.” Jonas laughed, and Isak felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders. Of course Jonas didn’t care, why had he been worried in the first place?

They continued to talk a bit more about everything that happened, Isak told Jonas about his room, and Jonas in return told Isak all about the party he had missed Friday night and the latest gossip he hadn’t heard of because he hadn’t been online the past weekend.

Later that evening, after both boys realized they were freezing outside in the cold they both went to buy some kebab and talked even more. Isak realized how incredibly lucky he was to have a friend like Jonas, and decided to voice his thoughts, as he thought Jonas should know how thankful he was. They said goodbye when the sun started setting, and Isak made his way home, thinking to himself that things were maybe finally getting better.

That night, when Isak lay in bed, he tried to stay up for Even. He had woken up that morning alone, with no sight of Even, and thought nothing of it. Maybe it had just been a dream. But late at night, the thought of Even actually being a ghost seemed more real, and Isak couldn’t help but wish Even would make another appearance.


	4. Moving In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four is here! As always, let me know what you think of this chapter, thanks to my amazing Beta's, and what do you think will happen in the next chapter?

The bank wasn’t a place Isak liked very much. It felt much too clinical and the workers always regarded him as if he were about to rob the place. Feeling self-conscious he stepped inside the modern building and inserted his bankcard into the ATM.

There was still seven thousand Kroner left in his bank account. He quickly emptied the account and stuffed the cash safely in the inside of his coat. He was lucky his mother or stepfather hadn’t tried to empty or block the account yet. With the money he had now he would be able to get through this month at least, and hopefully the next.

Earlier that morning a call had been made to the landlord to add Isak's name to the lease, and it had been deiced that he wouldn't have to pay any extra rent a the others had a contract already set in place. He would however contribute to the water, electricity, and internet bill, and the general groceries, like milk, coffee, bread, pasta - simple stuff that they always should have.

They had also come up with a new chore list, as the old one didn't take into account a fourth person, and divided the tasks evenly. It wasn’t much more extra work than Isak was used to. He had been taking care of his mother and himself for a while already before he left home.

Eskild would join him later to go to his house to pick up his belongings because Isak didn't dare to go back there all alone. He hoped no one would be home today, and silently hoped Eskild wouldn’t be too freaked out if anyone was home.

All in all, his life seemed to have gotten a lot better over the past weekend. Isak could barely imagine that it had only been three days since he ran away, trying not to think of the events leading up to why he left.

He hadn’t told anyone. Not Eskild. Not Jonas. And certainly not Even. Even, who still had yet to make another appearance. Isak was starting to really think he had made everything up. He was scared of what they would think. How they would react. They wouldn’t blame him, would they?

With the money safely tucked away, Isak left the building and stepped into the biting cold outside. He stuffed his hands in his pockets started making his way back home, passing through streets he knew had lots of shops, hoping some of the places he passed were hiring.

Isak was turned away at the first few places he entered, but soon found a little cafe where the manager agreed to talk to him. He followed the gruff looking man into the backroom of the café and sat down when told to.

“So, why is someone as young as you looking for a job during the school year?” The man asked, disinterest clearly written on his face.

Isak hesitated. He wasn’t sure how much he should tell the man. “Circumstances made it so that I had to move out. I don’t live with my parents anymore.” He eventually answered.

The man nodded, writing something down before proceeding with the rest of the questions.

At the end of the interview he was told they would call him back. Isak really hoped they would.

***

The road to his house was empty and wet from the rain when Isak and Eskild walked towards the house. It seemed fitting. There was no car parked in the driveway. Isak carefully unlocked the front door and told Eskild to follow him inside.

On second thought he regretted inviting Eskild inside. The house was a mess. Chairs were thrown around, the table toppled, and plates cracked and broken on the floor of the living room.

“What happened?” Isak heard Eskild ask. He shrugged his shoulders and continued his path through the mess towards the staircase. Isak hoped this was the last time he had to be here.

“My mom I suppose, or my stepdad, could have been both.” He answered. Isak tried not to show how affected he was by the state of the house, and he hoped Eskild would figure that out.

His room was luckily untouched and just as clean as he left it behind. His room was one of the few things he could control in his life, and he used to keep it almost obsessively clean.

“Anything I can help with?”

“Not really. Just take whatever seems useful or that you want to have, I’m not going to take everything with me.” Isak responded. He saw Eskild nod in the corner of his eye, but decided not to pay too much attention to him and instead focus on the task at hand.

Isak found his duffel bag and proceeded to stuff it with as much clothes as he could fit in there and then used his backpack to gather everything he needed for school, including his laptop and headphones.

He was done in what felt like minutes, and when he finally looked back at Eskild he saw the other had gathered some literature books Isak had lying around his room, some pictures of him and Jonas, and that he had unhooked Isak’s PlayStation from the TV and was currently putting it in his own bag.

Eskild noticed his incredulous look and laughed. “What? We don’t have one yet. And I guess it will come in handy to entertain little teenagers like yourself.”

Isak grumbled but didn’t disagree. Having the PlayStation would indeed come in handy. So he nodded and moved to the shelves where he kept all his games. He picked out a few and put them in the duffle bag, struggling to close it afterwards.

“I guess that’s everything.” He sounded pouty, even to his own ears. It felt final, somehow, and while a huge part of him was happy to go, another part wanted to hide under his familiar duvet and stay there forever, not facing the real world at all.

“Yes! I have a bag of chips calling my name and a PlayStation to install at home, let’s go!” Eskild said cheerfully. He was obviously trying to cheer Isak up, and it was working.

Back outside, Isak and Eskild ducked away at the end of the street just in time to avoid being seen by Isak’s mom, who was just returning from what Isak would guess was the church. Isak clutched Eskild’s arm, trying to calm himself down, and Eskild had never been so glad he had taken the young boy under his wing.

***

“Hey, are you still awake?”

The voice startled Isak, and he promptly sat up in bed. Even was once again sitting at his desk, this time with the chair turned towards Isak.

“Even,” Isak started, before thinking about what he was going to say, “so, I didn’t dream you last time?”

Even laughed. “Who says this isn’t a dream?”

Isak didn’t have a response for that, and thus pinched himself. “Fuck, no, I’m sure. This isn’t a dream.”

Even laughed again, his smile lighting up his whole face. Isak reached over towards his bedside table and turned on the little lamp standing on it. “So, why are you awake?” Even asked.

Isak shrugged, “I don’t know, I just couldn’t sleep I guess. Why are you here? I was waiting for you last night.”

Even looked slightly guilty. “Sorry, time doesn’t pass the same for me as it does for you. I hadn’t realised it had been so long. For me it felt like merely hours passed.”

Isak nodded, too tired to argue that that shouldn’t actually be possible. “At least you’re here now.”

“Yeah, I am. Want to do something?” Even asked excitedly.

“I’m exhausted really.” Isak grinned in response. “But we can watch a movie, if you want to?”

Even nodded happily and went to pick up Isak’s laptop from where it was lying on the desk and sat down next to him.

“What do you want to watch?” Even asked.

Isak just shrugged again, “I don’t really care, you can choose.”

Even concentrated on the screen and pulled up Netflix, looking for a movie called Chocolat Isak hadn’t seen before. He settled in against Even on the bed, pulling the duvet over both of them. He felt oddly safe with Even.

“Okay, prepare to be amazed! The film is French, but I put on Norwegian subtitles so you should be fine.” Even explained before pressing play. Isak didn’t even protest. He looked at the screen and pressed himself closer to Even, wondering if it was only his imagination that made Even seem more alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie Isak and Even watch is the film Chocolat (2000) starring Johnny Depp and Juliette Binoche. It is one of my favourite films, and I would recommend you to watch it as well!


	5. Author's Note

Hey guys, 

Due to the fact that school started begin September, the fact that I'm taking extra online classes to learn Norwegian, and the fact that I'm also workin means I haven't found much time to write the last two weeks. I've decided to put this fic on hold until I have at least a few chapters written so that when I start posting again I won't have to miss some of my posting days because I haven't written anything. 

In the meantime, you can find me on Tumblr at fluffygayprince.tumblr.com, or on Instagram over at @marielou.o . 

Let me know what you think of the fic so far, and what you think is going to happen, and I hope to start posting again within the next month. 

\- Lou


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